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10.16.06 | Friends Only

[mood] nervous
[music] Olivia - Hanabira

1.) please have at least some common intrests with me.
2.) don't be an attention whore or cause drama on my blog. i won't tolerate it. the only people allowed to be an attention whore are my closest friends like shino-sama, etc. lol.
3.) if i post graphics, please comment if you take something, and credit me for it.
4.) please keep mind there can be periods of time where i don't write.
5.) oh yeah, i have weird fandoms. please deal with them. but i don't talk about them that much. so i guess it won't be too much of a problem :)
6.) Finally, not trying to be mean but chances are if you're a major emo person (i.e. the sterotypical one)or cut heavily or do some kind of substance abuse, or go to my school, or are a family member, i won't add you. No offense, school and family is due to privacy. heavy abuse and cutting i don't tolerate, you'd just end up on getting a lecture from me, etc. and i know that'll cause problems. so yeah. i'd rather just avoid it. I don't want to read about very negative stuff like that, or know of details about it.

2 Replies | Reply

09.02.06 | Blargh

[mood] tired
[music] Cherry Filter - Romantic Cat

i can't sleep even though i'm dead tired, getting over being sick and i have a bad headache. so here are the pros and cons recently.

Pros:
Ben (the_priest) & I's 2 year annv. was last wed. ^^
School has been pretty good so far despite being stuck there another year
Labor Day is coming up and i'll actually get to see my brother.
I managed to Avoid going to lunch with my annoying sister today
Worked quite a bit at the wiki recently
Got 2 new fanlistings done.
Finally getting over being sick.
Got to see SVU last night!
Got to see the Bones Primiere

Cons:
I Have a D in chemistry already! ._.
Monday is labor day and i won't get to spend it with Ben.
I've been sick.
Because i ignored her calls she came over and to bug me for about 2 hours.
I made a boo boo today at the wiki, it made me feel pretty stupid actually. lol.
My With your smile fanlisting is due soon ._.
I still don't have a title for my Soi fanlisting.
The new lady on bones is lame.

thats all...for now.

1 Reply | Reply

02.20.06 | My Mom

[mood] annoyed
[music] Jem - They

I'm annoyed with her. she was always so positive about Katy and Jd's relationship. instant she met him she was like "oh he's the one blah blah blah". -_-; and she was oh so supportive when he had to move to fresno for awhile. fast forward to now. i let slip that i wouldn't mind having kids in front of my mom. and she went off on me! and she was like "i thought you said you didn't want any. see i proved you wrong, i knew you would change your mind", etc. and i was like "well someone in my life made me reconsider" and she was like "well, i think he's a nice guy and all but he's not the one" and seriously wanted to her STFU because she knows nothing. nothing! and then she was all "i have nothing against very religious people, but you guys would have so many conflicts because of that" and well, i haven't told her i'm not an athiest anymore, why? cause she'd blow up at me more. so i just basically listened to her and tried not to loose my ground. i was seriously annoyed. and then she was going on about kids. "if you and ben did have kids it would be a big mess because he's religious and your not and i doubt he'd let you get away with not making them go to church, etc." and i'm just like. jesus christ. shut up! you know nothing, absolutely nothing! and then she went on about how i couldn't move out of california. that ben would have to move here. i wanted to tell her no way. i need to go and see another part of the country. wherever that may be. and she was like "you can move to san jose or something but you arn't moving far from me" i want to be far from you! i can't take it anymore. i can't stand being around you anymore. so bossy, always judging, being nosy, being a slob, whining about medical problems you won't take care of. i need to be on my own! with ben! argh.....now i really wish i was graduating this year...-_-; god this feels like Jessica and her mom in Dragon Quest VIII. ::points to icon used for this post:: i just hate how she can't be 100% supportive. she's afraid she'll lose her "baby". i'm almost 18 -_-; i'm sick and tired of being treated like one. she's all panicky about a stupid little layover too. maybe i need to make ben talk to her about the layover or something....-.-;

5 Replies | Reply

11.28.05 | Come On...

[mood] sad, guilty for asking
[music] Anna Tsuchiya - Somebody Help Me

You know the drill...... ._.

http://www.dustrixity.net/eimii/playlistb.htm

Albums I Recieved Recently that Aren't on there:
High & Mighty Color - GOOVER
Shimatani Hitomi - Heart & Symphony
Little by Little - Sweet Noodle Pop
BoA - Make a Secret Single
Anna Tsuchiya - Taste my Beat
Kato Miliyah - Rose
Ito Yuna - Endless Story Single
Nakashima Mika - Glamorous Sky Single
Bonnie Pink - Golden Tears
Bonnie Pink - Let Go
Tommy Heavenly 6 - Tommy Heavenly 6

12 Replies | Reply

10.01.05 |

[mood] hot
[music] Fiona Apple - Better Version of Me

ick i can't sleep....way too hot too. and i'm taking a break from my outlining. on my second one finally. on my break i made icons...a lot and well added some ones i did a while ago but didn't post o_O

05 Sailor Moon
01 Priest
01 Azumanga Daioh!
04 Hamasaki Ayumi
01 Toriyama Masaki
06 Final Fantasy

( Read more... )

4 Replies | Reply

08.02.05 | Tons of Icons

[mood] artistic
[music] Hoshimura Mai - Story

Icons! lol. I've done several contests recently, etc. and yeah, i think i posted some here before but who knows. ^^;

1 Fushigi Yuugi
4 J-Pop
1 Final Fantasy 7
21 Sailor Moon

( Read more... )

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06.03.05 |

[mood] hyper
[music] Nada!

i passed physics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::jumps around with joy::

5 Replies | Reply

05.23.05 |

[mood] sore
[music] Fujimoto Miki - Namida Girl

my left arm and hand are screaming in agony. no kidding, i really pulled a big CP on it this time. its all sensei's fault. I'm currently working on my 13th draft for my essay and everyone else is done. I honestly wanted to cry earlier at school during japanese, sensei was all over my back about it and shes the one who keeps making write draft and draft even though i'm her best student. It's a little upsetting when your her best student and all of a sudden she's very angry at you. She wouldn't let me stop writing at all. She made me write during all of 2nd period when i had her, at break, at lunch, and even pulled me out of art and history to do it and its just....painful. especially physically. My hand is screaming in pain. Its tired of writing. Its so hard when you have writers block in a foreign language let alone your native one. So right now i'm typing with one hand....^^;

anyway....

Post anything you want in comments BUT post it anonymously. Anything at all. A story, a secret, a confession, lyrics, a fear, a love -- anything. However, just be sure to post it anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like, or even a thousand times. It doesn't really matter. Have some input. Then, put this in your own account to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your GJ) have to say.

3 Replies | Reply

09.19.04 | Friends Only

12 Replies | Reply

09.19.04 | My Rebuttle, because i need my point to get across to her.

[mood] annoyed
[music] Tokyo Jihen-Sono Shukujo Fushidarani Tsuki (Lady is A Tramp)

Well, i talked a little to mom about it last night...she said that she would have yelled at me by now if she believed it. But it still makes me wonder if she's playing both sides, she tends to do that. Anyway, Heather believes me, as does JD and Katy. However i'm still very pissed Autumn decided to spread false infromation about me, weither she knew it was false or not i don't know but still. If she really had a concern why not talk to me, or tell mom maybe and have her talk to me. Not go running off gossiping it to my siblings and then mom. Thanks for putting some stress back into my life Autumn, thanks a lot. Also, just the fact she's been reading my blog and misunderstanding just about every word i say pisses me off too. I'm sorry, but i tend to make people ask for permission to read or they do it without me saying and well, this is for me and my friends to read, not family. I never gave you permission to and so i'm telling you this now: stop reading it. and well if you don't i'll make this friend's only or find a way to block your username. I also noticed today you have "0" entries in your journal so i assume you made it into friend's only and i could honestly care less. But it does sound rather unlogical for you to be all upset by chance that i read what you said and yet think i wouldn't be upset with you reading mine? I was going to post a comment on your blog with a rebuttle so i'll just post it here. and to be honest i think its stupid it has come to this, i mean, you invaded my privacy and misunderstood everything and ran off telling people it. Makes me trust you a lot less. Anyway my rebuttle, seeing like i feel i HAVE to defend my moral to you. And well, if i'm coming off as nasty i apologize but i feel its the only wait to get my point across with more misunderstandings. Besides, i think i have the right to be mad at you right now.

1.) You know NOTHING about ben
2.) You have no right to butt into my relationship
3.) How can i possibly sleep with him if he's in Minnesota? ::being sarcastic:: I must be really sneaky then.....
4.) Running off spouting your mouth before you knew all the facts rather irritates me
5.) The fact that you questioned my moral makes me trust you less and clearly shows you don't know me at all.
6.) and the whole thing about the 30th you talked to Katy about, wtf? It's just our 1 month anniversy, nothing more nothing less. I'm not doing anything of that kind and again its also proof you've been reading my blog.
7.) I'm not after you for your money
8.) Half of the stuff you want to do with me doesn't intrest me or i want to be doing something else at that time.
9.) You make me feel like i HAVE to do it, i've felt like this since i was little and annoys me greatly.
10.) you'd always tell me not speaking my mind irritated you and then when i was honest and said no you got all irriated. Quit being so damn fickle.
11.) I'd be nice to have a break from family every now and then k? Besides, i see you several times a week where as with say heather or another sibling not so often.
12.) Also, if i do something with you, instantly your constantly bugging me to go to even more places and do more stuff with you. Maybe you don't realize this but i do. I honestly just need time to myself sometimes, especially recently. I've had a lot of stress on me and hence i've may have come off as rude to you on some occasions and i apologize for that but sometimes i just want to be left alone and you don't seem to understand that. I NEED space.

there....needed to get that off my chest -.- and hopefully this will help to resolve things.

8 Replies | Reply

09.14.04 | Hm.....interesting....

[mood] calm
[music] Kokia - A gift

Fill this in about me. Just because...

----------------------------------------

Who are you?

Are we friends?

When and how did we meet?

How have I affected you?

What do you think of me?

What's the fondest memory you have of me?

How long do you think we will be friends?

Do you love me?

Do you have a crush on me?

Would you kiss me?

Would you hug me?

Emotionally, what stands out?

Do you wish I was cooler?

Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

Am I lovable?

How long have you known me?

Describe me in one word.

What was your first impression?

Do you still think that way about me now?

What do you think my weakness is?

Do you think I'll get married?

What makes me happy?

What makes me sad?

What reminds you of me?

If you could give me anything what would it be?

How well do you know me?

When's the last time you saw me?

Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

Do you think I could kill someone?

----------------------------------------

6 Replies | Reply

09.14.04 | My Day in a nutshell......or something....i dunno >.>

[mood] sore
[music] Tommy February 6 - Magic In Your Eyes

Today was a little better then yesterday....mainly because i got to out for pizza with friends. However Tyler insisted on going to pleasure pizza seeing he was the one driving us and alisa though uppercrust and we tried calling her cell but she didn't answer and just ahh! i hope your not mad alisa. It's all Tyler's fault....Either way, Natasha kicked ass and bought me pizza because i forgot money T.T and well, hanging out with the group for lunch outside of school was fun, made me hyper >.> School is ok for me......::shrug:: not too hard not too easy, well, physics is hard and i got a 23/45 ::sobs:: i was annoyed and upset with myself when i found out.....however i was happy to discover i got a 37/38 on that english test about modes of persuation and the whole, ethos, pathos, logos. woo. didn't even study and was confused and got a good score. i did made hansen recount though......i didn't believe it.....what else to talk about....oh yeah i've been having physical issues recently. I've been tired recently, and well, i've had my ear bothering me for the past two days...i wonder if its from listening to music too loud that one day but also the side where i got my injury hurts now. Well, the teeth on that side....esp in the middle. oww. ick and its so hot. argh. i envy ben....it's raining over there. ;_;

Anyway eating and all that shit and trying to feel better....

7 Replies | Reply

09.13.04 | Something for Alisa to see.....

[mood] surprised
[music] Linkin Park - Crawling

Sakura osei: so why don't you want a girlfriend all of a sudden. i'm just curious.
Sakura osei: i'm honestly quite shocked from all of this....what the heck happened.
Tusspot: its... kind of complicated, and bizarre, and probably me being a complete idiot...
Tusspot: even then, i know plenty of people already gossipng their heads off about it
Tusspot: *grunt*
Sakura osei: well, i'm not "gossiping" i've only talked to alisa during 4th period about it because she was crying.
Tusspot: ya...
Tusspot: well, believe it or not, i feel horrific
Tusspot: that and i really mean it when i said, i want to be her friend still
Sakura osei: no offense but you should be.....=/
Tusspot: hah, i knew i'd get that from some people
Sakura osei: i mean did you tell her why you didn't want a gf?
Tusspot: not in its entirety no, but is there any reason in particular you're getting on my case?
Sakura osei: well i'm just confused. it came out of nowhere to me. but also you IMed me so i figured i'd ask becuase i'd rather know the story then assume incorrectly.
Tusspot: well, okay, to tell you more of the details that i told alisa (i can't say i had time to tell everything, and she was looking miserable enough i didn't want to go into detail...)
Tusspot: at the moment, i'm scared of the idea of commitment, honestly I am
Tusspot: the relationship we had mainly consisted of flirting and making out on couches... not a whole lot else...
Tusspot: it kinda felt dead to me, the only thing there was that we liked eachother
Tusspot: and at the moment, at least with everything turning out as it is for me, i need a friend i can hang out with, than a girlfriend...
Tusspot: so yes, i still care about her, a lot, i feel like total and utter shit for hurting her like that
Tusspot: i cried too y'kno
Sakura osei: hm....i see.....sorry if i sounded like a raging bitch its just i had only heard that you had broken up with her and she was upset and crying etc, etc, etc.
Tusspot: i know, i don't think you're being mean and argumentative right now
Tusspot: it's just... well, this is hard on me to, but i mean it for the better... in the long run...
Sakura osei: i guess you have a point...
Tusspot: that and i get to deal with the friends that hate me, and the people that stalk her :-p
Tusspot: ya...
Tusspot: well, i sent her an email saying i still care... i just hope we can still be friends... somehow...
Sakura osei: well i don't hate you....well i did earlier but thats because alisa was crying and i knew you were the reason......
Sakura osei: and at least you sent her an email.....
Tusspot: well, i just know that at the moment, if i go up to alisa and try to make her feel better
Tusspot: that'd be a very dumb move just yet
Tusspot: after things like this, people need some space...
Tusspot: after everything's calmed down, then i can do that
Sakura osei: good thinking i guess.
Tusspot: that and i knew something like this was gonna happen looong ago
Tusspot: well... sorry this came to such a shock for you
Sakura osei: well, you guys just seem so happy thats all. esp alisa.
Tusspot: that's the point... at least, alisa did... i kinda felt like it was slowly losing it...
Tusspot: i mean, we'd effectively been together since the beginning of summer...
Sakura osei: true.....
Tusspot: *sigh* i wish i coulda made it easier on alisa..
Sakura osei: to be honest, i don't think you can do much as of now....perhaps in the future though when things calm down.....
Tusspot: well, if i tried to do anything right now, ti'd only make things worse

well, i hope this helps you in some way layla......:( ::gives you a tight hug:: ne?

4 Replies | Reply

09.13.04 | Friends......

[mood] pensive
[music] Rachel Yamagata - Collide

Today has been rather taxing ne. It seems all my friends are having issues....First Jess last night and her cry of annoyance and hurt with Lola and Boo. I honestly had no clue how to respond, i had no clue it bothered her so much. I know i'm not to blame for Jess being upset however Alisa brought up a point that makes me feel rather out of place. The fact, Jess, Boo and Lola have this "cosmopolitain trio" thing. What about Alisa and i damn it? not to be selfish but that was like 2 years ago over spring break. it's not just you three, alisa and i are here too. Why are we treated differently? Why do you three get to be closer then us with you guys. I mean not to brag but i feel i'm the closest to Alisa out of anyone in the group and all but i want to be closer to you guys too.....and i feel like it will never happen.....you guys are drifting farther away from me and it hurts. What happened to last year? we were so close and everything and it was fun. ::small sigh:: I honestly wanted to cry today, i was just so fed up because i'm trying so hard to keep people close to me and its not working. Bridget is running off, Jess and natasha seem so busy and then Alisa is the only one i'm still really close too. I feel so bad today and mad at myself, i wanted to hug alisa tell her it was ok, ask her whats wrong but i couldn't really, because i honestly have no idea how to go about comforting people, although people seem to come to me for it. I felt torn when i saw Alisa crying, terran is such a prick and bri and i have come to the conclusion he's gay. >.> Not that there's anything wrong with it but still, they way he just dumped her like that, unexcusable. Esp. his reasoning. gah. I want to shove my boot up his ass. Anyway, i honestly felt envious of alisa when i saw her crying, i could never cry like that.....and i felt rather ashamed i've never been able to in front of her or my other friends. God, my friends and i are just crumbling......and they were my first friends i had. I don't want to brave the rest of high school alone....they are what keep me going there. Anyway....i wish to think about this more before saying more.....also thank you ben for listening....i'll take what you said into consideration. Anyway off to do something to get my mind off of things.

P.S. I wish you were still here Rena....i miss you....you would have been 16 on the 9th, sorry i didn't mention it earlier...your mom keeps pestering me too about seeing your grave...heh....whats the point of talking to the dead....::sigh::

1 Reply | Reply

09.12.04 | hehehe....something i found on SA's blog.

[mood] hyper
[music] Maroon 5 - Sweetest Goodbye

i found a link to this site. it's so kawaii! XD

Only 1200 yen!
Get your own at Hamstar's Noodlebar!

2 Replies | Reply

09.12.04 | Some RE.....

[mood] wanting to see RE again....T.T
[music] M-Flo loves Dragon Ash - WAY U MOVE

some good ol' screencaps....i try to describe some without giving stuff away....

Alright the movie poster first off

Alice in Umbrella patient Garb after coming out of a tube thing

Alice in the tube thingy

Jill Valentine shows up at the police station after being suspended, hence normal clothing

Carlos, Nicholai and Yuri (umbrella's solider people)

Alice with Jill, Jill's Partner and a Reporter who i forgot her name >.>

Jill Valentine looking in the basement of the school for Angela

Jill with Angela Ashford along with Alice in the School Cafeteria

Nemesis XD he even says "STARS" in that cool voice!!!

more pictures coming later today.....

Reply

09.11.04 | Hm......What to talk about

[mood] excited
[music] DarkMateria - The Captain Picard Song XD

Um....i didn't mean for that last post to go through to be honest, i though i didn't finish it and hit the close button on the window before going to RE.....Whatever i'm too lazy to take it off and people have probably seen it already....i just don't like looking weaking to others even though its rather obvious. Anyway.....RE was pretty good however a part near the end had me scratching my head. But dude, Jill Valentine fucking rocks XD she's so cocky in the beginning. and well, Carlos is in it too.....instant i saw Olivera i knew it was him....if you guys go see i want your opninon: don't you think the S.T.A.R.S. member sniping zombies on the roof is Chris Redfield? He has that cocky thing like Chris XD but yeah i knew so many things and could linked them here and there, it was great XD

Um....anyway, i'm thinking right now......about "stuff" and can't really share it with you peeps :P I'm just glad its the weekend and i've calmed down and what not. Still annoyed with Mr. Gregg and my parents and all but i'll live.....my stomach has also been feeling better....i'm now 111.4 lbs. hehe. don't think i could have done it without a certain someone by me. arigato ~_^ oh yeah and i'd like to bring you random facts of the day about me:

Soda Drinken so far: half of a rootbeer
Been up since: 7:00 am
Went to bed at: 2:00 am
Songs Listened to So far: about 20
Parents woke up: 20 minutes ago
On TV: Music Videos on channel 472 (MTV hits channel we get with our "spiffy" digital cable)
# of times i've thought about sex: um.......10 or so times already....maybe andy is right. i am a male in a female's body XD

3 Replies | Reply

09.10.04 | Something I Remembered....

I just remembered earlier at break but also after 3rd period on my way to 4th that i wanted to cry. Mr. Gregg is just such a dick but i also couldn't help but miss him...heh. I was just having a bad day and the last thing i wanted was to be at school and it all became too much and i just wanted to breakdown but i didn't because a.) i was at school and b.) i don't like crying in front of people esp. friends. blah....why am i even talking about this...anyway, i'm going to see the RE movie tonight....and i kinda don't want to leave him....i've honestly have had that bad of a day.....anyway. off to leave.

2 Replies | Reply

09.10.04 | Pardon the BITCHY Mood.....

[mood] bitchy
[music] Nine Inch Nails - Fuck You Like An Animal (Closer)

gah....first off a rant about my evil Physics Teacher.

Ok i can't STAND my physics teacher Mr. Gregg, the day after i was sick he hugged me saying he missed me >.> i was already POed about that and then the other day i burped in class and even though i covered my mouth when i did and said excuse me he got all mad and yelled at me saying i should be more ladylike in his class. Same thing happened yesterday with me but i was yawning and on both occasions he pulled me aside after class to apologize and then today he called on me and i honestly didn't know the answer and told him i was confused and he yelled at me in front of the class about how stupid i was and that it was simple and then for the rest of class he kept trying to push my buttons and kept calling on me through out the rest of class.....so irritating....i honestly don't get him and i want to kill him....not to mention i've learned NOTHING in his class, all we do is math based stuff in his class even though he said we wouldn't do that much math. just GRR! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!!! Can you tell i'm mad? >.>

Also another rant........
about my parents
first thing i do when i get home today is go over the computer cause duh. I want to talk to ben, i've had a bad day but NO! I have to do this other shit my parents want me to do first they want me to change my bedding and what not cause i don't do it often enoug and they don't even care i have issues and what not. They don't care at all, they just want to make me do stuff for the sake of doing it and boo hoo if i had a blanket of my sisters on my bed. WTF? is she going to throw a god damn tantrum without it? argh. anyway this is not making any sense and i'm stopping before i make myself even more of an idiot.

-.-

7 Replies | Reply

09.09.04 | Feeling like a Tired Defense Atterny (or however its spelled or said -.- i'm tired)

[mood] tired
[music] Yaida Hitomi - Chain

hm.....i don't know why i defended him to SH.....i guess i can understand in a way? who knows. But i feel bad if i came off as nasty and well, he's a friend of someone dear to me so yeah....perhaps thats another reason i felt the need to defend him. I think i did a fairly good job and made SH see my point of view and not to be rude SH but you need a lot more patience....then again i think you have it but its more then just him wearing it down, i think its work and other things as well....and i already brought up my example of you being pushy and rushing about it. and wasn't trying to put you on the spot it just was the only thing i could think of to show you what i meant exactly....Anyway.....today was rather uneventful....i'm doing good and so is my loving bf and my friends and yeah....hehe. rather tired right now...and i still have math homework and i have more math homework....and i need green tea....off to my room to work on it and then sleep, cause i need it badly....very badly...i'm falling asleep as i say this...

Night people ^^

P.S. Call me crazy but i do get a sense of annoyance about me from you SH....

6 Replies | Reply

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